My summer place

My mummy and I always had our summer vacation spent in that remote farm house in Kumarakom. After my daddy and mummy got divorced we had less fun in our family and my mummy did not had much time to spend with me since she had to work the whole day to make my life a pretty one. I used to wait for April to get my academic year over with to see myself in my dream land. Fortunately my birthday also falls in the beginning of April and I used to have my birthday calibrations with my pretty parrot friends of Kumarakom. Right from the beginning of February I annoyed my mother to get the tickets booked early enough so that we will never have any delay in our trip. That beautiful old farm house which belongs to one of my distant relatives used to bid me to break her silence even though it was for few days. I doubt whether those marvelous days really belonged to my present earthly life or was it a part of my previous birth which I cannot recall properly. My anxiety would reach its peak by the closing days of March and I would be busily doing all the packing assignments. My mummy would have good fight with her boss to get the leave sanctioned early enough. Boring train journey from Chennai to Kottayam was not all at a problem for me as my enthusiasm would be in its zenith at that time.

Where had that passion disappeared? What happened to that naughty lass whose chirping voice decorated the courtyard of the farmhouse during the beautiful sunsets of April evenings? Farm house was unable to wait for another year more since it was totally worn out. It should have been the prayers of my feathered friends of that village that made me decide to celebrate my forty third birthday in the ‘heaven’ of my childhood days. My husband was out of station and I wanted my eldest daughter to accompany me during the trip. She found it to be of zero interest as she did not wanted to disturb her routine for the trip which she termed as ‘worthless’. I tried consoling myself by telling my paining heart that generation gap would generate disappoints like this. I had no other option other than waiting for my youngest daughter to come back after her college industrial tour, so that she may find couple of days to spend with me. I was longing to see that heavenly rest house that might be waiting for me to present her birthday gifts of all these 26 years. Sweet voice of Kumarakom backwaters was beckoning me to spend this vacation with them. Somehow I managed to get two tickets ready for the trip which I have been ignoring all these years. My personal and professional struggle did not grant me any beautiful moments in my busy life all these years.

We could find our reserved seats in the train with two berths; upper one and the lower one. My daughter was busy with her laptop and she did not show much interest in accompanying me for this trip. I lied down remembering my golden trips with my sweet mummy who left the world leaving her only daughter alone. All those days started coming before my eyes like a film. My mummy used to prepare special rice puddings that we used to have during the trip. She had to carry my toys also since I was particular about taking them for my joyous tour. We would bring packets of grains for my ‘green friends’ who would be waiting for my arrival. I never used to sleep during my journeys to our farmhouse as I would be over enthusiastic. I would be awake and would wait for Kerala to come in order to enjoy the beauty of ‘Sahyaparvatha’ hill series of Palghat.

How magnificent those trips were? ……..and my present trip? I wanted to cry aloud like a kid. . I wanted sleep to come so that my agonies will be taken off at least for a period of time. I could see that pretty girl lying on her mummy’s lap and merrily blabbering her plans of the trip. She appears to be cheerful and was boasting about her tour to her fellow travelers. I became jealous of her. I wanted to be that girl at least in this two days trip. But I was helpless.

Early morning we reached Kottayam railway station, 3 kms away from Kumarakom. I was very eager to see how my farmhouse and courtyard would be like. I wanted to see my parrot friends welcoming me to the farmhouse. We traveled to the village in a bus that appeared very modern unlike that old rickety bus we used to travel in. Appearance of the village itself surprised me. I could see only a crowded township in the place of that beautiful village. I walked all the way towards that abandoned plot where we had our farmhouse. Farm house was still there….but all its glory had disappeared. Courtyard had no beauty to proclaim. Majority of the banyan trees that surrounded the courtyard had grown old loosing its majesty. The gigantic mango tree that used to allure us with its ‘honey mangoes’ was not found in its place. I looked for the small stream that watered the bougainvillea plants which gave pretty magenta flowers. Nothing was found in its old beauty. I found myself lying down on the verandha of the farmhouse lamenting about my good old days. I wanted to explain my daughter how this place appeared when I was a kid. But she was not in a mood to hear my story and I had to keep my feelings within myself. I felt there is no point in living in this world anymore. I forgot that I was a grown up lady and started crying like a kid. I was lying down on the floor when that nice-looking young girl appeared again in front of my eyes. She was holding her mother’s hands. They both were enjoying the scenery and were feeding the flocks of parrots that surrounded them. The girl was in high spirits and was dancing for her mother’s songs. I felt even more distressed seeing her happiness. Her mother prepared special delicious food items for her and they had their dinner in the tree house set up on top of the black tree stood in their courtyard. They were enjoying their vacation in a special way. The mother made her daughter take bath in the spring and clothed her with her new green birthday dress that she made for her. They gathered flowers from the garden and prepared a floral carpet in front of the farmhouse. The mother was very happy to see her daughter collecting flowers from the garden and preparing small small decorations around the farm house. I imagined me in that girl’s place. My joy was boundless when I found myself enjoying the farmhouse vacations with my loving mother. I was totally in my dream world and I forgot that I was lying down on the verandha of that old worn out farm house. I was depressed to the core and wanted to fly away from this painful life journey that moment itself. I wanted to live the life of that girl who was very happy in her world. My pain increased, my feelings became boundless, I was sad to the core, I cried aloud “Who will take me back to my beautiful farmhouse? Who will help me out? When can I see that wonderful courtyard? Where is my sweet mother who loved me with her whole heart?”